Hey being single isn't that bad... it's all cool and all.. i got my new job to concentrate on, making money that way i know how, i still got my family and my friends. I still got care and concern from most of the people closest to me....... all except one.... Sigh who am I kidding.. I miss him like countless times a day and I miss him constantly.... Well he and I are still talking.. at least we are doing that now, but then again... It isn't the same. I'm still pretty much in denial about everything, but at least I am focused on what I have to do.

One: I have to work hard at my new job. Two Save as much as I can. Three Earn my 15K within 2 yrs and extra. LAST Achieve what I want and be who I want to be with.

I am moving on, but with him still embedded in my heart. I can never let go the feeling I have for him. I don't think I can ever let go. *Sigh* I told him straight, I wanted to open a joint account with him. I told him that I wanted to build the trust between us again. I told him that I wanted another chance to make this work, and all he said was, "Why must we do everything now? Can't we see how things goes?" Maybe he's not ready, Maybe he is just saying stuff like wanting to be with me, hoping that I'll spend the rest of our lives together, maybe he doesn't know what he wants. But he told me that he wants to settle down, but I wasn't ready. Now I am..... I'm doing what I have to do.. I'm doing it all for OUR sake.. for US.. but where is he now? *shakes head* I'm confused.. very confused and yet very sadden. I can't talk to him anymore, I don't understand him anymore... I don't know where I am headed for, but I know is that I have to work hard... and Work extremely hard to get back what I want.. and That is him. Foolish huh? A foolish fool in love with someone who might not be the one for her....I don't know him anymore.. I guess it's the distance.. I guess it's the time apart.. I guess it's the different environment that changes all of us... the both of us and the relationship... I'm really scared to admit it, but I am afraid I am losing him, faster than I can grasped....Sheesh... i'm really into this depression and I can't tell him how i feel.. cos he will just ignore me.. i mean.. do i really deserve this? All I ask is just for one chance... one more chance....


"How can I just let you walk away
Just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking
Every breath with you
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all
How can you just walk away from me
When all I can do is watch you leave
'Cause we've shared the laughter and the pain
And even shared the tears
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now
Oh there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face
Take a look at me now
'Cause there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against all odds
And that's what I've got to face

I wish I could just make you turn around
Turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you
So many reasons why
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now
'Cause there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face
Take a look at me now
'Cause there's just an empty space
But to wait for you is
All I can do
And that's what I've got to face
Take a good look at me now
'Cause l'll still be standing here
And you coming back to me is against all odds
That's the chance I've qot to take

Take a look at me now"