It is time, my life is cursed and I am willingly carry my own cross of suffering, without any complaints or support. I realised that my parents have showned me the greatest example of love, slefless love, that no one can ever perform, unless they are parents themselves. I stepped up to my challenge, I step up to my faith.. My karma has caught up with me and it's time to pay what is due. Bad debt, Bad Debt of my pervious teenagehood..No one understands that other than my parents, for they know what it is and how it has affected me. To be finally shown that they were right, right from the start. I was alone when the tables turned on me.. and now, I am still alone.. all the promised made, all the vows done, all that I have put in, has shown his true colours, his true feelings, and where i really stand and mean to him. Such utter disappointment, such utter hurt, such utter betrayal of my fragile emotions. I bear no hate towards anyone, I can never hate anyone.. for what reason should i hate, for what reasons should i get angry for.. cos all of it will come to nothing.. and i will never recover if i do so.

I have given you love.. I have given you selfless and unconditional love.. I have accepted you, with all the goodness in you, with all the fustrations in you, with all the flaws and rough edges that you have. I have never expected alot, and I can never expect more.. but the simpliest trust and faith you have already proven that you can never give me what i want.. You can never give me the happiness i strive for... and yet, you blame it all on me.. for all your shortcomings, you blame it all on me.. using my own shortcomings to fuel it.. You will never understand my love for you, you will never see it, as you have never used your heart. You seek for the truth... but what is the truth? Is it really important that It really rules all that you do? What is your beliefs, what is your truth? Does it bring you happiness, does it satify your ego now? Your cursed ego, that cursed thing that has cursed mine as well, for I have to submit to it.. Are you happy now, that you have to walk this road on your own? Are you happy now, that you have shattered, betrayed the heart that unconditonally nurtured, cared, willing to walk and carry all your burden and love you. Have you no conscience? Do you not see? Are you more blinded with seeking the truth than to see that you have really hurt someone.... someone whom really wants to be with you... THe Decision is yours and so be it.... I can readily sacrifice myself for you... and YOu... the one that lay the conditions, You,... the one with all the worldly desires.. .You with your obessions with the truth, that when even when it stares at you in the face, will not be able to recognise it.. cos You only care abt You, yourself who has been hurt, you are the One who has to face this alone.. cos you are the one who is suffering.. Blinded by that, you never realised the people who has to suffer because of you and yet quietly carrying it, never complaining.. just like When Christ carried the burden of our sins, and impurities without even a sigh... I cry not for myself now.. but i cry for you... You who do not realised the meaning of true love, the meaning of acceptance, the meaning of being a pillar of strength, the meaning of selflessness.. you who will never understand.. as you believe that you are fighting for the greater good, when you don't even really know what you are fighting for.. I feel sorry for you, as i know I failed in teaching you the real meaning of acceptance, selflessness and the true meaning of when you love someone, and be patient with them.. they will truly see what you are trying to show them.......