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The Blogger

The one who loves Katsumi Yui, The Jaded Princess. Timeless as the Seasons The Dominent Fire Sign I Belong to the Night Clans I record down the lives of the Mistress of the Night
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Monday, September 01, 2008 // 9/01/2008 01:12:00 AM
Goodbye my Little Dream

My Dear Precious Child whom I will never be able to ever hold,

It came as a shock to both your daddy and me that you have all of a sudden came into our lives, but unfortunately, we are unable to keep you. It’s not that we never wanted you, but we are unable. Given our situation, it’s almost impossible for us to be able to care for you and to bring you into this world. Even though we know that we might be able to bring you into this world and care for you, but we do not want and wish for you to suffer with us. It may not be easy for you to understand the fear and disappointment that you might have to face if you were to become a reality. Your daddy and I do not wish to bring you into a world whereby you might have to struggle with us not being there for you all the time when you grow up. We have to work hard and even at irregular hours, we might not be able to give you what ever you wish for in your early life. There are times we wish we are able to bring you in our world and give you everything that you need when you need. We would want to be able to prove to them that we are able to give you your every wish and whim, but we are unable to.

Please understand that how heartbreaking it is for your daddy and me to make this decision and I know I might regret this decision. It would be the only regret in my whole entire life as I might not be strong enough to give you my one hundred percent to have the courage to say that I can and will be able to do it and give everything that we have taken away from you. You are a gift from God that we are unable to accept at this point of our lives and we may never be the parents that you might have. Everyday I think of this, it breaks my heart but unfortunately we do not want you to suffer with us with the daily thought of being to go though days of having just enough and being satisfied of having just what can be obtained. I’ve been through life, being content with what I have, while my friends has everything that their parent can give to them. I do not want you to think to yourself of things such as, “Why my parents can’t do this for me” or “Why can’t I have what my friends have”. We do not want you to be envious of anyone or belittle yourself.

I’m sorry, my dearest child whom is conceived out of love, but yet have come at a wrong time. It’s not that we don’t want you, but it’s because we can’t keep you. Your daddy and I are sorry that we are not able to bring you into our lives and it will be a scar that will forever be in our hearts and in our lives. Call us selfish if you must, but please do not blame your father and me. All we can ask is for you to forgive us as it is too soon for you to join us and we do not want you to be ridiculed for the rest of your life that you were borne out of wedlock and your grandparents might not be able to accept it. If they knew you, they might have loved you and give you the love that they will give you. But unfortunately, the fates are against us. Please forgive us that we will never be able to see the first time that you will open your eyes and cry, forgive for that we will never be able to see your smile, hear your first words and see you take your first step. Please forgive us for we will not be able to see your first birthday, or to see the love that your aunts, uncles, grandparents and godparents showering you. Please forgive us for everything that we are about to take away from you.

As time goes by, you’ll see this of me, I loved you enough to let you go free….



Thru the ages of time I travel,
Seeking for my comfort, my solice,
For I am the Demon's Bride,
The forbidden Love of the Dark Lord,
Aikiko Rei.